Since this blog was for a class, I will leave it like it is.
However, I really enjoyed the concept of this blog, and I am continuing it.
The new blog is at sexfatandstigma.wordpress.com . I have imported these entries into the new blog, but this blog at blogger will remain as a testament of my awesome class :-)
Thursday, December 4, 2008
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
Control
So, this post has been going through my head for a while :-)
I have control issues, and I know that. But, I also have strangely accepted things that are out of my control. I used to drive my classmates crazy. They would ask what I answered for a question, and I would have no idea because it was over and done with.
Accepting an action means accepting the consequences of that action. Im sure Azzurra will come up with whatever philosopher said it first :-) People get into cars every day, and drive, and think they have control over if they get into an accident. And, if people get into an accident, they get mad, but most people realize that it was an accident.
So, accepting the small chance that an accident will occur is part of making the decision to drive a car. That small risk is balanced against the rewards of driving a car.
Yet people seem to think that some risks of sex are acceptable, and some risks of sex are so horribly unacceptable that we completely disregard the other person in the equation.
Since this is a women's studies blog, one of the biggest risks of sex for women is pregnancy. Women have to balance this risk, and take whatever precautions they choose, to prevent this from occurring (assuming they wish to not become pregnant). And, if an accident occurs, we accept it and move on.
However, STIs (sexually transmitted infections) seem to have a different risk calculation. Even in sex positive communities, there is this stigma against STI positive individuals. Someone can think "well, I dont want to get pregnant or an STI, but pregnancy is a risk that I am willing to take but i'll refuse to have sex with someone with an STI." Because, for some reason, the stigma against pregnancy (or abortions) is not nearly as bad as the stigma against STIs.
Which gets back to the control issue. While we can do whatever we can (condoms, birth control, outercourse, etc) to prevent STI transmission and/or pregnancy, nothing except total abstinence is completely effective.
STIs are stigmatized because the person can transmit their "infection," yet most of us do not stigmatize men because they can "transmit" pregnancy. But, the control of getting an STI is just as out of our hands as is the genetic lottery that makes a man produce sperm.
But we dont think like that. We associate "STI" with being unsafe. With unprotected sex, with promiscuity, and with being an undesirable sexual partner. Or, rather, we associate *having* an STI with being stigmatized. Most people can understand that genital herpes will not kill them, but will site the stigma as one of the main reasons why they do not want it.
Why is this?
I have control issues, and I know that. But, I also have strangely accepted things that are out of my control. I used to drive my classmates crazy. They would ask what I answered for a question, and I would have no idea because it was over and done with.
Accepting an action means accepting the consequences of that action. Im sure Azzurra will come up with whatever philosopher said it first :-) People get into cars every day, and drive, and think they have control over if they get into an accident. And, if people get into an accident, they get mad, but most people realize that it was an accident.
So, accepting the small chance that an accident will occur is part of making the decision to drive a car. That small risk is balanced against the rewards of driving a car.
Yet people seem to think that some risks of sex are acceptable, and some risks of sex are so horribly unacceptable that we completely disregard the other person in the equation.
Since this is a women's studies blog, one of the biggest risks of sex for women is pregnancy. Women have to balance this risk, and take whatever precautions they choose, to prevent this from occurring (assuming they wish to not become pregnant). And, if an accident occurs, we accept it and move on.
However, STIs (sexually transmitted infections) seem to have a different risk calculation. Even in sex positive communities, there is this stigma against STI positive individuals. Someone can think "well, I dont want to get pregnant or an STI, but pregnancy is a risk that I am willing to take but i'll refuse to have sex with someone with an STI." Because, for some reason, the stigma against pregnancy (or abortions) is not nearly as bad as the stigma against STIs.
Which gets back to the control issue. While we can do whatever we can (condoms, birth control, outercourse, etc) to prevent STI transmission and/or pregnancy, nothing except total abstinence is completely effective.
STIs are stigmatized because the person can transmit their "infection," yet most of us do not stigmatize men because they can "transmit" pregnancy. But, the control of getting an STI is just as out of our hands as is the genetic lottery that makes a man produce sperm.
But we dont think like that. We associate "STI" with being unsafe. With unprotected sex, with promiscuity, and with being an undesirable sexual partner. Or, rather, we associate *having* an STI with being stigmatized. Most people can understand that genital herpes will not kill them, but will site the stigma as one of the main reasons why they do not want it.
Why is this?
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
Consensual, but Unwanted
We read an article about ambiguity in sexual consent. This is not about sex.
I went to the ER. My body, nonconsensually, decided that it wanted to throw up. A lot. About 6 times, before I tried to sleep, then awoke to throw up again. I wanted to make class, that wasnt happening.
The Health Center decided that I was dehydrated, and due to my gastrectomy, it would be very hard for me to rehydrate myself. IV Rehydration was the suggestion.
I was apparently very dehydrated, because it took SIX IV sticks for them to decide that they couldnt get it. They would have stopped earlier, but I asked them to try again so I wouldnt have to face the ER. Still didnt work. (Two of the catheters kinked, one blew, the other two didnt go into the vein.
Off to the ER. IV stick the first time, two liters of saline, blood tests (normal!), and im out the door. with an estimate from the Hospital for 1750. Not including the labs (which I know are expensive) and the doctor (who saw me for 5 minutes).
Im back at home, attempting to eat something. Ive kept down fluids, so I should be fine.
And, ya know how messed up my mind is? I got out of the Health center, and debated going to class before the ER. Im sure my classmates thank me that I didnt arrive.
I went to the ER. My body, nonconsensually, decided that it wanted to throw up. A lot. About 6 times, before I tried to sleep, then awoke to throw up again. I wanted to make class, that wasnt happening.
The Health Center decided that I was dehydrated, and due to my gastrectomy, it would be very hard for me to rehydrate myself. IV Rehydration was the suggestion.
I was apparently very dehydrated, because it took SIX IV sticks for them to decide that they couldnt get it. They would have stopped earlier, but I asked them to try again so I wouldnt have to face the ER. Still didnt work. (Two of the catheters kinked, one blew, the other two didnt go into the vein.
Off to the ER. IV stick the first time, two liters of saline, blood tests (normal!), and im out the door. with an estimate from the Hospital for 1750. Not including the labs (which I know are expensive) and the doctor (who saw me for 5 minutes).
Im back at home, attempting to eat something. Ive kept down fluids, so I should be fine.
And, ya know how messed up my mind is? I got out of the Health center, and debated going to class before the ER. Im sure my classmates thank me that I didnt arrive.
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
Mariology
So, yes, its from a while back, but I am procrastinating on my thesis.
One often forgets how culture impacts their beliefs. The Virgin de Guadalupe is so prevalent in Texas that it seems common place. A visit to the Basilica in Mexico City was amazing. but, apparations have appeared elsewhere.
Since my procrastination method tonight involved a Wikipedia Search, here are some links for you.
Our Lady of Međugorje Vision and 10 secrets given to individuals.
Our Lady of Akita Cured a nun of her deafness.
Our Lady of Zeitoun As a student of technology, this one fascinates me because there is photographic evidence, as seen Here.
One often forgets how culture impacts their beliefs. The Virgin de Guadalupe is so prevalent in Texas that it seems common place. A visit to the Basilica in Mexico City was amazing. but, apparations have appeared elsewhere.
Since my procrastination method tonight involved a Wikipedia Search, here are some links for you.
Our Lady of Međugorje Vision and 10 secrets given to individuals.
Our Lady of Akita Cured a nun of her deafness.
Our Lady of Zeitoun As a student of technology, this one fascinates me because there is photographic evidence, as seen Here.
Transgender
Two posts in a day. Procrastination much?
He’s Pregnant. You’re Speechless.
I hate it.
I really hate the majority of articles that I read about transgender and transsexual individuals. Perhaps I am overly sensitive. Perhaps I listen to the rants of my transgender and genderqueer friends.
but, WHO THE HELL F-ING CARES?
Seriously! the state of one's body is really only important to that person, and whomever that person chooses to share that information with. Just because someone is a "man who is pregnant" doesnt mean that the "public" should comment on their body. Im sick of reading "oh, thats really a woman." NO, it is not.
Gender is such a socially constructed concept. and, the vast majority of us have been socially developed into a gender that happens to match the squishy bits that we have. It doesnt have to be like that. Someone is no less of a man because he has a vagina, and someone is not less of a woman because she happens to have a penis. Gender is social, gender is how someone appears.
*you* as the general public do not get to comment on the state of someone elses body. You can comment on your own (though, see the previous Fat Talk Post about how we talk to our bodies.) You might even be able to comment on a partners. But, the random stranger on the street, no matter how "weird" or "off the wall" or "whatever non stereotypical thing they have," you dont get to comment.
Accept people as they are, let individuals self identify, stretch your imagination, and let it go.
He’s Pregnant. You’re Speechless.
I hate it.
I really hate the majority of articles that I read about transgender and transsexual individuals. Perhaps I am overly sensitive. Perhaps I listen to the rants of my transgender and genderqueer friends.
but, WHO THE HELL F-ING CARES?
Seriously! the state of one's body is really only important to that person, and whomever that person chooses to share that information with. Just because someone is a "man who is pregnant" doesnt mean that the "public" should comment on their body. Im sick of reading "oh, thats really a woman." NO, it is not.
Gender is such a socially constructed concept. and, the vast majority of us have been socially developed into a gender that happens to match the squishy bits that we have. It doesnt have to be like that. Someone is no less of a man because he has a vagina, and someone is not less of a woman because she happens to have a penis. Gender is social, gender is how someone appears.
*you* as the general public do not get to comment on the state of someone elses body. You can comment on your own (though, see the previous Fat Talk Post about how we talk to our bodies.) You might even be able to comment on a partners. But, the random stranger on the street, no matter how "weird" or "off the wall" or "whatever non stereotypical thing they have," you dont get to comment.
Accept people as they are, let individuals self identify, stretch your imagination, and let it go.
Pre-Consent
The comments in my Consent post were interesting, thank you for sharing.
I agree with Issa, and I think this is more of my mode of consent. She used the concept of "pre-consent," in that there is a discussion in advance, with the parties giving advanced permission for whatever they want to do. I think this is an excellent compromise between the models of consent. It combined elements of the Antioch model, in which explicit permission is given, while not really discussing everything as it happens. There is the body language model, because good sex is about reading one's partner(s) during the act. and, there is verbal confirmation, that everything will be fine.
I would add that any person is able to say no or stop or change during the act(s).
As a critique of the Antioch model, sex puts many people into an altered state of reality. Things that would seem absurd and distasteful might seem exciting and tantalizing during the act. The "swept away in the moment" mentality may come into play. By requiring conformation during the act, rather than before the act, one may be able to actually do more than the person initially wanted.
I also enjoy the freedom of the pre-consent model. Items are discussed in advanced, rules are laid out to ensure safety, expectations can be discussed, and the encounter can be more enjoyable.
I agree with Issa, and I think this is more of my mode of consent. She used the concept of "pre-consent," in that there is a discussion in advance, with the parties giving advanced permission for whatever they want to do. I think this is an excellent compromise between the models of consent. It combined elements of the Antioch model, in which explicit permission is given, while not really discussing everything as it happens. There is the body language model, because good sex is about reading one's partner(s) during the act. and, there is verbal confirmation, that everything will be fine.
I would add that any person is able to say no or stop or change during the act(s).
As a critique of the Antioch model, sex puts many people into an altered state of reality. Things that would seem absurd and distasteful might seem exciting and tantalizing during the act. The "swept away in the moment" mentality may come into play. By requiring conformation during the act, rather than before the act, one may be able to actually do more than the person initially wanted.
I also enjoy the freedom of the pre-consent model. Items are discussed in advanced, rules are laid out to ensure safety, expectations can be discussed, and the encounter can be more enjoyable.
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