Thursday, September 18, 2008

Sex Positive Ideals

In class, we were discussing talking to parents/kids about sex, and a student said something along the lines of "I hope my children never talk to me about sex."

This made me sad. I would love to live in a world in which children felt comfortable talking to their parents about sex, but more importantly, that their parents felt comfortable sharing suitable information to their children. Just like many parents are not comfortable with talking with their children about marijuana (because they did it when they were young), most parents dont talk to their kids about sex.

And, the *way* that we talk about sex has to change as well. And, yeah, im doing research on condom use, so I am kinda perpetuating the myth that "sex education is about safer sex." But its not just that, we need to empower people to make their own sexual decisions, and how to negotiate their romantic relationships (and their non romantic relationships as well), how to communicate with others, and how to get the sexual pleasure that they deserve.

(Full disclosure, I dont talk to my mom about sex. :-) I could once I am married, but she doesnt really want to know anything until that point.)


Issa said...

This is a topic that concerns me a lot. The messages that parents explicitly give to their children about sex are, I think, shockingly lacking. It's a reasonably complex topic, though, delving into issues of privacy, consent, bodily integrity, where pleasure comes from, not to mention the actual facts of what to do and how to do it. I'd be interested in hearing more of your thoughts on how the dialog should change.

Julia said...

Someone came and talked to my mom group about this, and emphasized that it's important to use the correct words for various body parts, and be available to answer questions the kids may have.

I'd rather have my kids asking me questions and have me say, "I don't know, let's look it up together" if they have a question I can't answer, than to have them go to a source that isn't going to be that honest or interested in giving them accurate answers to questions.