Just go ahead and assume there is profanity on every link here :-)
Strongly worded rant about women "asking for it" http://apiphile.livejournal.com/1674662.html (Warning: Very strong language)
I also read Rape Prevention Myths. and, the more strongly worded Shakesville Post
These resonate with me, for several reasons. I am a feminist; I think men and women are equal. I also think that while women have made several strives towards equality, the "movement" towards equality cannot reach its goal without the male side making changes. I think changing the rape myths is a HUGE part of how things will change.
We teach women to be scared for their safety, to watch their backs walking to their car, to not get drunk if they have to go home alone. Women should fear strange men, but the men in our lives we can trust. (Never mind that the VAST majority of rapes occur with men the women are intimately involved with, only a very small percentage are strangers).
But, the media distrusts statistics, and instead focuses on sensationalism. Women need to fear rape from the big black man on the corner, when it is more likely (statistically) that her meek boyfriend will be the one forcing her into sex.
What we really need to be doing is teaching women (and men) that women (and men) are people, individualistic, and worthy of the utmost respect. That sex is wonderful and meant to be joyful and fun and exciting, and that rape is a form of violence that is meant to show that women are still property and objects in our society. The idea that rape prevention is a women's only issue is absurd and almost damaging.
Empowerment, and not fear.
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The first thing that has to get through the guys' skulls is that women have a right to say what ought and ought not be done with their bodies, and that men should listen when women tell them where their boundaries are. The guy who won't listen to, "Don't hug me!", is he really going to take "No!" for an answer if he's really wanting to get it on with someone who isn't about to claw his eyeballs out if he goes too far?
(I'm in the "claw his eyeballs out" club. Then again, I have never had a man not accept my "no" once he knew who I was married to. Marrying a hulking half-Swede just isn't an option for everyone, though, and I want to take a clue-bat to those guys who listen to my "no" but not someone else's.)
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